Dolores, My Heroine

I was shocked to read the news today about Dolores O’Riordan. In high school she was my heroine. She was my inspiration to shave my head and dye it all kinds of colors. I looked to her to help me through one of the most difficult times in my life. My nephew was battling leukemia, he was like my little brother. Sometimes like my son. He and his mom, my older sister, lived with my parents and me. I was a teen who watched horrible things happen to an innocent child that I loved with all of my heart. He was my world. And to get through it, I went to Dolores’ strength in her music. She yelled and yodeled, she whispered and loved. Her melodic voice was like silk and her fiery passion comforted my soul and gave me hope, not to mention her style that showed me a woman can look anyway she wanted to with no fear. I had been to her home country, Ireland, and fell in love with the countryside and the people. I fit in there and it only made sense that my favorite band resided there. When I shaved my head, I’d be walking around campus and peers would start singing Zombie from across the courtyard and I’d smile. She was the soundtrack to my soul and to my innocence that was quickly transitioning. I just heard on the radio last week that she was only 18 when she wrote Linger. And I thought man, when I was 18 all I was doing was listening to her albums over and over again. I’m left here looking back at all these memories feeling heartbroken. It’s true what they say, as you get older time speeds up. She was only 46 years old. I drew this picture of her in 1996, one month before I graduated high school and five months before my nephew passed away. I want to thank her for helping me through such a life changing time for me. She helped me see what a strong woman looked and sounded like. She was tiny in size, but her heart was fierce and her voice… Well just listen to her voice and you tell me. I must get some tissues now. I’m a sopping mess. RIP Dolores. When it’s my time to pass to the other side, I’ll be looking for you to give you a thank you and a hug. You already sounded like a bad ass angel on Earth. The stars shine brighter now that you are among them. Til then ☘️